21 Feb 2010

Super Resolved Story

Act 1:
A burglar sneaks through an overcrowded metropolis. The burglar is wearing a stereotypical striped outfit with a large 'Swag' Bag draped over his shoulder. The Police search around for the man in question. The Burglar is merely passing through the back alleys until he spies a low wall with no security. He throws his swag bag over the wall first to cushion his fall. He vaults over the wall and picks up his swag bad. He sees a door that is ajar. He slips through into the dark store.

Act 2:
The cash register sits in the distant with a stream of moonlight over it. A heavenly choir plays as Burglar gets a distinct feeling of money (Dollar Bill signs like a slot machine roll through his eyes). He creeps (exaggerate) across the shop floor until... his foot slowly deflates a rubber chicken which sets of a chain of events. The deflated chicken lets a piece of string go slack, allowing a fake bowling ball to fall against the wall, tugging on the security alarm. Distressed, Burglar turns to flee but a boxing glove on a spring fly's out of a wall hitting the burglar in the face. As he stumbles and tries to regain his footing, his hands land on some fly paper that is on display. With the fly paper stuck, he randomly flails his arms around to remove the paper but instead gets itching powder packets attached to his hands. He lifts his arms up unaware and sprinkles the powder over his back. Whilst trying to scratch his itch, he falls over and lands a centimeter away from some fake poo. Disgusted, Burglar leaps up but forgets about the fly paper which swings him into a stack of costumes. He emerges with a fake moustache and glasses combo attached to his face and is unaware of it. Burglar tries to force himself to the desk while stink bombs explode all around him being dropped from the ceiling.

Act 3:
Burglar continues to push forward as the obstacles all start to take its toll on him. He closes in on the cash register only to be greeted by a wall of fly paper strapped to toy crossbows. As he urges forward, the crossbows peel themselves back ready to fire. He reaches for the register and is an inch away.
Then the crossbows fire. The array of flypaper fill the screen.
Police pull up outside the shop and ready there weapons and aim then at the shop. The door then opens with Burglar, battered and bruised and mummified in fly paper.
The Police men yell "Get on the..." as Burglar topples over. "Um, yeah! You stay there!".
We then switch to Burglar in a cell behind bars. A much larger prisoner walks up behind Burglar and taps him on the shoulder. He turns to see the Butch Prisoner is holding a piece of soap. Butch turns his hand over and drops the soap. He nods towards it. The camera looks at Burglar as gulps.

That's my resolved story that I have moved around from the interim crit. I have changed the end and simplified Act 1 to get straight to the action.


Jackie said...

Personally, I'm not sure about the bar of soap bit at the just seems out of keeping somehow with the rest of the comedic action. I think I would cut it at the point where the burglar falls to the ground surrounded by the police.... what do others think?

Bluejetdude said...

Right I see what your getting at. I felt it was maybe a bit to grown up. I was contemplating ending where you said but I feel that it needs something else. an extra push

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